Bad Dreams

Last night I had a bad dream. I did heroin. About a month ago, this dream would have rocked, a free buzz.  But is really got me off my rocker today. No, I haven’t slammed the shit, but these thoughts keep racing threw my head. I just have to keep fighting them off and know that they will get less and less as time goes on.  The Suboxone definitely helps I don’t know were I would be without it. Maybe dead. I think I caught my illness just in time. I was really about to just throw it all away.  I don’t know what made me go get help when I did, but looking back I didn’t have much longer at the rate I was going. It was truly a very sad situation.  I went to an NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting tonight, this helped a little bit. It is definitely nice to meet other people in you same situation. I would have never in a million years thought that this type of therapy would work. Some how it does. It allows you to get stuff off your mind, stuff you could not say to your friends, not because you are embarrassed, because they just don’t understand.  I guess you have to be a full blown addict to understand what another addict is really going threw. I don’t even think my doctor has a clue. I just wish there was something else I could do to make this situation a little better. I don’t know what I am going to do.. pol

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