Lapse in Judgment

Wow! I passed my drug test. Crazy, this is the first time I have ever in my life passed a drug test with out drinking some shit you get at the bong store, or some fake urine you buy with a little heating pad. I can actually say that I am proud of myself. This last month hasn’t been to bad, I have stayed relatively clean. I did have a lapse in judgment and do a perk 15, but that’s it. My test came totally clean, I did smoke some pot about a week and a half ago, but that didn’t show, so I guess i haven’t smoked to much. I really think I am done with that too. I kind of freak out when ever I smoke anymore, I had a full blown panic attack about two months ago when I smoked. I told my doctor what was up and he told me to look at it as a learning experience, and he appreciated my honesty. I thought that was really cool, since he is a brutally honest guy.

Work has been stressing me out lately. We hired this new dude, and he is just not cutting it. I am afraid of what I am going to have to do to him, because he is such a nice guy, I don’t want to fire him, but I really don’t know what else to do. It really takes him three times a long to do everything as the “normal” person would take. Given he has only been there a couple of weeks, but he is progressing very slow. Just though I would get that out there.

 

So I have this disk that has like 400 of my pictures on it. I am finally doing a my space account so I can catch up with some people I went to High school with, Some of these pictures remind me of the good old days, when I had few worries, I was fucked up but didn’t have many worries. We took this trip out to South Dakota. That was the best trip of my life better than any  drugs. The Bad Lands are something everyone should see. I have never seen anything like it. I will try to include a photo if I can. I would really like to go back there someday.

I need to work on managing my frustration. I have no idea were to start. I can keep cool for so long then like a atom bomb I go off. I am typically the most calm, cool and collected person you will meet until I have just had enough. That happened the other day at work, I put a nice size dent into the door of our walk in freezer, I pushed this cart on wheels as hard as I could straight into that son of a bitch. It made me feel better, but I shouldn’t have to do stuff like that to help me feel better.

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