I sit here up for 20 hrs, this morning I woke up at 3 AM, laying in bed, and I can’t fall back asleep, I want a cigarette.  So I drag myself up and go out and smoke, feel like I am in mild withdraw because I did not take my Suboxone the day before. I smoke then melt a sub, watching breaking bad on my DVR.  I start to feel as if I am not going to puke as the suboxone kicks in and now I get that burst of energy that it gives you.  So I have to work at 7 am, oh shit this is going to be a long day. So I finish watching Breaking Bad; which by the way it is a really great show and I recommend it to anyone its on A&E, kinda a weird station for a show of this nature, but they do a hell of a job with it.

I went to work had to listening to all my employees bitching once again, I had to write the schedule for my whole staff of 35 which is a bitch in itself, you can never make all happy, either they have to many hours or not enough, or don’t want to work certain days.  I really don’t give a fuck at this point I just tell them to deal with it, or find a new job, but of course I take care of my good employee who do a real great job, but even those people are pissed off to be managed by a 26 year old kid. I think they hate me, and are in cahoots with each other. Then I have to leave work at 1 pm to go to a lame meeting an hour away from my store. By this time I am racked, and really don’t want to go, so I do and sleep though half of the meeting,  I have to then go to my uncle’s house who is in a wheelchair, and run some Aron’s for him, which I don’t mind doing other than the fact I am tired.  Its now 11:00 pm, and I have to do laundry (which is in right now) for work tomorrow, the only highlight I can think of is that I don’t have to be at work for 12 hours and I have suboxone so I don’t have to go buy drugs and deal with all of that before work tomorrow.

Its been a year next month since I have taken advantage of my life and got on suboxone, and I still thank god everyday that I am clean. With all this bitching I am doing believe it or not I am still very thankful and very happy that I am in the position I am in with my health and I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world, well not anything maybe if it comes to the health and life of someone I care about. But there is it nothing else am I going to let get in my way.  I am really excited about going to the Physiologist next week, I think this is going to be a huge benefit for me. Well if any of you have any words of wisdom please share. I can use the help.

 

Take care

pol